Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
