y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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