i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
