But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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