You're so nebulous sometimes
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
