i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
