i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
