i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
