so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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