why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
