ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
