I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
