haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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