I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
