Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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