I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
