you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
