I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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