We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
