Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
