I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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