I don't think brook has ever known best
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
