i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
