If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
