You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
