The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
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