Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
