Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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