dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
