she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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