Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
