Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
