Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
