fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
