so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize