You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
