I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
