alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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