literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
