watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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