you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
