Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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