Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
All the doctor said was why
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
