this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
