i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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