you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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