Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
