I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You left your phone here
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