windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
