Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
