i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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