We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
