In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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