it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
honey bunches of taint.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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