I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
