nut hugger
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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