i don't like sucking hair
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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