are you so shy because you have an std?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
