She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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