He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
