The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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