I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize